Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors
Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software
Help! My keyboard is stuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Programming /n./  A pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed......If a program is useless, it will have to be documented
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from
Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code